"All tied up. Now what?" Suggestions for Beginner Doms
So, it may be that bondage is the only thing that interests you and your kitten. Kitten simply likes to be tied up for traditional foreplay and intercourse. Which, believe me, can be a whole lotta fun. But for those who want to explore beyond just bondage and into more BDSM activities, here are some ideas on where to start.
So, first things first. Discussion time. You and your partner need to set the boundaries and establish a safe word and anything else you deem necessary to have a fun, safe, and sexy experience. You can discuss soft limits, hard limits, likes, “don’t” likes, loves, hates. You can even use a checklist, to indicate interest level on different activities, Modify the list to your needs or even make your own.
After you've discussed limits and established your safe words, now it’s time for some fun! So, kitten’s all tied up. Now what?
The most basic and easy type of sensory deprivation is blindfolding, especially when used during sensation play. Every touch, sound, and sensation is heightened when you take away kitten’s sight. Not knowing what exactly is making these sensations and when and where they will be used leaves kitten in a constant state of arousal. One aspect of blindfolding that I particularly like is that pivotal moment when the blindfold is removed, like right in the middle of sex as I am approaching orgasm. The sudden bestowal of sight and reorientation to my environment makes my climax that much more intense. If kitten likes blindfolding, next time you might move on to other types of sensory deprivation such as ear plugs/headphones and gags.
There are a variety of things you can use to tease and taunt your kitten. The effect of different sensations on the skin combined with being bound can be very stimulating. Good old fashioned tickling can be a great form of light “torture.” As well as some light biting on key spots. Tools can also be used for sensation play, like brushes. Use a toothbrush across the skin and then a softer brush, like a makeup or paint brush, for contrasting sensations. Ice is another fun tool. Run a cube of ice over nipples, down the stomach, and beyond. Put it in your mouth for chilly kisses across the body. Feathers, fur, silk, leather are also fun textures. Use your imagination. And don’t forget, blindfolds can make sensation play that much more fun.
While these may fall under sensation play, I wanted to give them a special spotlight. Clothespins are a fun little toy and a great way to explore kitten’s reaction to pain without it being too serious. The most obvious place for clothespins is of course the nipple. But they can also be placed on other body parts like the arms, thighs, and if your female kitten is feeling extra frisky, the labia. If you choose to do nipples, for beginners it’s best to clamp well beneath the nipple with a little bit of areola. This puts less pressure on the nipple itself and allows it to be free for other stimulation. The thing about clothespins is that they don’t actually feel like much when they are attached. It produces a nice sensation similar to having your nipples pinched by fingers. The real fun is when the clothespins come off and blood rushes back to the area that had been clamped. This produces a slightly painful, yet powerful and intense sensation. Keep in mind that the longer the clothespin stays on, the more intense the sensation will be when removed. So, at first it’s best to keep them on for a short time, a couple minutes at most. Then you can work your way up and possibly explore similar but a little more advanced devices such as nipple clamps.
Even if your kitten is not into pain, some light spanking can still be exhilarating and hot. And you don’t actually have to “hurt” the kitten. Bare handed is probably best for light spanking as you have more control and feel for how much force you are using. Choose fleshy parts of the body like buttocks and thighs. If you’d like to try a little harder impact, try a paddle or back of a large hairbrush. For a more stingy sensation, try a wooden spoon.
These are all of course just some starter ideas for you to build on. The possibilities are endless. Don’t feel you have to fit all kitten’s fantasies and interests into one session. Take your time. See what works. And of course, keep communicating! Don’t forget your safe words and be sure to implement aftercare. Talk about what worked and how you and your kitten can elaborate on that activity. Discuss things that maybe didn’t work so well and how to fix or nix it. For more tips and ideas, check out our Sites We Like section. And as always, don’t hesitate to message us with any questions or comments!